Friday, October 8, 2010

Gasp! Bed Bugs found in Hopkins County, Kentucky

   From, we have an article about bed bugs invading Hopkins County, KY today. And I quote:
HOPKINS COUNTY, KY—A lot of us have heard about the recent issues with bedbugs in New York City, yet few of us would imagine that they would be found in our own community. Unfortunately, though, it’s looking to be a fact. According to several reports from local media, bedbugs have been found in both the Regional Medical Center and the Red Cardinal Inn in Madisonville.
Though this seems to be one of the first times that the troublesome insects have been seen in our area, hospital staff have already taken action and called in the assistance of exterminators to solve the potentially large-scale issue. According to an RMC spokesman, the critical care waiting room would be the main focus for the exterminators. In addition the spokesman claimed that no patient rooms were affected.

   WTF kind of article is this? What, only Dirty Ass People in New York City are supposed to get bed bugs? The writer seems to think that bed bugs are isolated to big metropolitan cities when this can't possibly be the case. I mean, a Dirty Ass Person can travel anywhere in the world and bring with him the scourge of bed buges. Two bed bug carrying DAPs who travel to Japan can probably cause an epidemic bigger than SARs, Swine Flu, and Flesh-Eating disease all swirled together.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Freezing Bed Bugs to Death

   If extreme heat like the ThermaPure cure for bed bugs sounds too extreme of a solution for ridding your home of bed bugs, you can always go the opposite direction and freeze them to death. The Cryonite System was developed by Swedish company CTS Technologies. From their website:
   The Cryonite System is both an apparatus / unit and a method.
The unit is made so as to allow the operator to carry out effective treatments, considering the specifics of the method.
The Cryonite method is based on an extremely fast cooling of insects to a very low temperature, freezing them with carbon dioxide snow. The Cryonite snow has an exceptional cooling capability - the Cryonite effect.
As the method is physical, this also separates it from the usual chemical-based methods. One of the many advantages is that there is no resistance build-up.
Cryonite is by its very nature environmental friendly and hygienic.
As the carbon dioxide used is a residue taken from industrial processes, Cryonite adds no carbon dioxide to the atmosphere. Carbon dioxide is non-toxic and non-allergic.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

EPA Unveils Bed Bug Database

   The Environmental Protection Agency is getting into the bed bug game by releasing an online database which allows consumers to search 300 EPA approved pesticides that may be used to destroy the little buggers. The EPA also operates a bed bug website which offers general information on bed bugs, how to get rid of them without using pesticides, and how to contain a bed bug infestation.

   I find it interesting that the "Environment" Protection Agency advocates pesticides which are inherently harmful to the environment rather than pushing non-chemical solutions such as heat treatment, vacuuming, and other safer methods. According to an online posting, a simple solution for destroying bed bugs is as follows:

EPA has no expertise in insects or treatments

Comment by JMWilliams Oct 6, 2010, 13:37 PM EDTI read the whole list of treatments (300+). All EPA is concerned about is toxicity of commercial chemicals; they don't care about efficacy or treatment.

The EPA list should be ignored. A simple and effective treatment is to apply a small amount of flours of sulphur (finely powdered sulphur) to the body before bed. The sulphur will get into the nightclothes and bedding and remain there until laundered.

Sulphur is nontoxic even if ingested, and it is cheap, being a bulk chemical, like salt or sugar.

Sulphur works by generating microscopic amounts of hydrogen sulphide when in contact with insect body carapaces, oils, eggs, or insect body fluids. This repels or poisons bedbugs, as well as lice, ticks, fleas, and other parasites.

I got a bedbug bite when new neighbors moved it; I applied flours of sulphur about once every two weeks for a year -- never got a second round of bites.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Bedbugs Suspected Inside Wall Street Journal’s Office

   Remember what I said about Dirty Ass People being the originating vector for bed bugs right? Right? Well, a story from the Wall Street Journal provides evidence that I'm right. And I quote:
   A spokeswoman for the company traced the suspected bedbug outbreak to a staff member for Barron’s, a weekly financial newspaper that, like The Journal, is a part of News Corp.’s Dow Jones subsidiary. “After a Barron’s staffer…informed us of bed bugs inside his apartment building, we arranged to test the area around his desk,” the spokeswoman explained. “We found no bugs. Nor could we find any physical sign of bugs.”
   But as a further precaution, the company brought in a bedbug-sniffing dog, which have become increasingly common tools in the fight against infestations. The sniffer dog “did signal concerns,” the spokesperson added. “So even though we can’t find any specific evidence of any bugs, we will steam clean and treat the area to make sure no problem manifests itself.
   The WSJ employs at least one DAP working there who's spreading bed bugs and contributing to the current malaise. Great.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Changes at Casa de Sonoma

   Ever since this bed bug thing has erupted across the nation, I've changed my policy on dating and inviting one-night stands over to my home. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I don't allow girls I've only known for a few weeks into my apartment  anymore - even when the moment for romance hits me. Nowadays, I take the girl to a little motel that's about 3 miles away where we have our relations, share breakfast the next morning, and then I watch her do the walk of shame down the street. I don't think I'm crazy because there is no way a girl is going to be ruining my apartment by potentially bringing in unwanted bed beg visitors.

   Let me be clear that most (but not all) of the girls I've been with have been clean, sweet, and loving. One girl I dated took three showers every day and she was a clean freak. Occasionally, there'll be a girl I meet who looks clean but then as the evening progresses, I'll notice litte things like dandruff, ear wax, a wispy mustache, or something else that I'll find to be a turnoff and perhaps a clue as to how she lives. That's when my bed bug detector starts clanging and warning me that the girl I've been talking to might be a DAP (Dirty Ass Person). That's usually my cue to break off communications and break the EFF out of there.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Bedbugs Found in Federal Government Building in D.C.

   Bed bugs have invaded the halls of the U.S. government. Specifically, baby bed bugs have been found at the US Agency for International Development office tower at the Ronald Reagan Building and International Trade Center. Have bed bugs no respect for authority? When are they going to take over the Oval Office, NASA, the Federal Reserve (yes, I know it's private but still....), and the U.S. Treasury?

   Hasn't this bed bug thing gone far enough? Why haven't dirty ass people cleaned up? C'mon yaw, I pinpointed the most likely vector of bed bugs as a dirty ass person (DAP) a few weeks ago. Once a colony of bed bugs sets up house at a DAP's domicile, he becomes the carrier, the messenger, and the harbinger of doom. Everywhere he goes, he's a walking threat of bed bug infestation. I think stores like Abercrombie and Fitch should set up "bed bug detectors" at the doors so that sirens will sound when anyone who's carrying bed bugs passes through. A big neon sign that reads "DIRTY ASS PERSON" will then light up and alert everyone in the store that danger has arrived. Only then will the scourge of bed bugs be stopped. A&F, no need to thank me - a check in the amount of my consulting fee of $5,000 will suffice.